[okay thatsa pretty good memo--it calls for one response!]
After reviewing recent TOBEX data, we are forced to downgrade TOBEX market status from "BUY" to "SELL WITH EXTREME PREJUDICE".
Reports indicate that TOBEX is unionizing painfully--this increase costs. Management TRICKS may forse union leaders to take violent, illegal action. What a shame that would be. ;)
Also, leaked internal memos indicate that upper management is not sufficiently RELAXED--this decrease business. Also rumors of secret cake and unusable laboratories/washrooms--this decrease profits.
Worst of all, despite the firing of dangerous criminal Proxy right before a freak forklift accident, Proxy still hangs around diminishing market valu.
We may revise this report if management gets nicer--i mean business gets better.
Love,
Proxy, hyper-analyst unusual
(for more informs contact the Extra-Contractual Caucus of Technical Futurists Investment Research Department) |
