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[2551] by "MegaMediator" (orthodoxy.res.cmu.edu)   on Wed 24 Jan 2001 18:59:28     [ reply ]
Guyz,

If our new sotviet aliance to destroy THE MAN is ever going to get anywhere, we need to decrease the hostility level of this message board. I think step UNO is to have fewer You-messages assesing our problemz.

Examples of You-messages:

"You always show up late."
"You speak insufficiently broken English."
"You don't take this project seriously"
"You're a control freak"
"U SUX"

Instead, to assess our problems in ways more consistant with solution finding, we should use "I-messages".

"I-messages" take the following form:

I feel ______(emotion) when you _______(behavior described neutrally) because _______(interest).

Here are examples of "I-messages"

"I feel frustrated
when you change back all my editing changes
because I want to have input and I don't want to waste time making changes if they are ignored."

"I feel unorthodox
when you send viral e-mail attachments
because I RULEZ!"

"I feel belittled
when you mock my group mediation stratagies on your message board
because I take myself too seriously"

Everyone try it!

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