| Last Cereal: Message Board: posting |
| re: All Dreams Must End |
| [7468] by "Rob Pfeifer" (118.235.35.212.in-addr.arpa.ip-p) on Fri 30 Nov 2001 16:43:25 [ reply ] |
|
Sometimes, people can be healed. But not everyone can be a healer.
And believe me, it's not always a good thing to go out with someone in need of a healer. There was a girl. I needed something from her - to be reassured I could be loved. What she needed was so, so much more. An emotional crutch, a glue to hold her together as her life fell apart. I took my healing and gave her hers. And gave and gave and gave. She needed me, and even when I knew I wasn't in love, I still liked her too much to leave her and let her fall apart. And maybe there was something else there too, a reluctance to risk destroying all I had done. Even when it was over, I don't think she realised how much she had needed me. Our friends did, they saw. And they saw she was not the girl for me, too. But they couldn't understand why I stayed. That relationship lasted a year too long, and now I know I do not want someone who needs me like that. But also I am more whole in myself. Two people who neither are in need. It will be a new sort of relationship for me, and something I look forward to. Unless need is the glue that binds people together, these days, in their insecurity. How terrible if need is mistaken for love. All I might say I need right now is sex. But what I /want/ is so much more. And I don't think I'll settle for the quick fling; it's too easy to be trapped by your own compassion. Anyone seen a soul-mate around? About 6'2", red hair, exuberant, untouched by the apathy sweeping our society? Willing to be seen to enjoy what she enjoys. Why is it that these days everyone just acts like they don't give a shit about anything? To be passionate about something is always to be interesting. Actually, the looks don't matter, that's just how I tend to imagine her. If you see her, send her my way. Rob |