| Last Cereal: Message Board: posting |
| retrospect |
| [8263] by "Veavitdpoh" (syr-66-24-0-28.twcny.rr.com) on Thu 03 Jan 2002 22:12:22 [ reply ] |
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Sherman, set the wayback machine for late middle school (hrm... six years ago? Fourteen? Ye gods.) In my German class, I wasn't studying much German... I decided later that my troubles with foreign language were due to an overspecialization in English, but that's neither here nor there. There was this girl, let's call her Red Paint (several injokes and a play on words later), who spent several German classes tormenting me in stupid and adolescent ways. Later on, she got better, and we shared a few fairly neutral conversations. I was even invited to a birthday party once, where I actually got flashed - there was a bra involved, c'est la vie - and stupid things happened because of stupid people (including stupid youth of stupid me). Soon after, she cooled and I wrote her off as an overall bitch.
Today I ran into Red Paint in the video store. We had light conversation while my rental was rung up, and she was nice enough. In thinking of this, and of her, and of me, I realized something. She SO had a crush on me. Classic attempts to get attention, eventual realization and overtures, and a final decision that the opinions of her friends was more important than what she felt. She held a torch for me all year and I never realized it. God! She wasn't a cheerleader, but she wasn't Britney Spears (the epitome of ugliness) either. I wish I'd realized... at the time, though, I was quite firmly at the "everybody hates me" stage, along with a nice severe case of clinical depression, and was in no state to figure something like that out. It's way too late now, of course. But in a rather masochistic way, it feels kinda good to know that at least somebody was attracted to me. Retrospecticus! |