Ever since the Verizon/ChinaTelecom Cell Tower of Babel was completed, kids and teens have been txting God non-stop! I certainly appreciate all the blood and sweat that allowed Americans to enter Heaven and join the ranks of Celestial Beings. That's what our courageous slaves un-died for! But I'm not sure kids really understand the infinite gravity of communicating with Eternity.
Here are some txts kids have been sending to God:
"r u there God?"--hey, could we at least capitalize the "U" here, people?
"deer god cold i pls have mor wishes kthx"--God is not a genie, he does not grant wishes. At least not without an iAltar sacrifice.
"jesus wat are you wearing now"--yeah, that's right, your kids have been sexting the Trinity! I mean, come on, people, when shit like this starts happening, spontaneous human combustion becomes the best case scenario. The possibilities just gets worse from there--conviction on a Blasphemy Against the Spirit Charge carries a minimum sentence of Eternal Finite Damnation--that's a whole eternity of mild discomfort and angst, people!
"god help brane is burning pls kill me kill me kill me" oh great, one of your stupid kids lost his phone and one of our courageous slaves got a hold of it! Now God's gonna hear about all the stuff we did to their neurons! Well, it looks like it's Armageddon for us all now, I hope you spoiled brats enjoyed your time in heaven. |
