1. New Battery
Well, it’s time
To get a new battery
I guess it’s fine
It sure outlasted its warrantee
But I know I’m gonna miss those times
Drivin’ around with that Honda battery from 1989
I guess that I’m to blame
For neglecting to start it up on those frigid winter days
Die Hard®
Is high in quality
My car
Will have more durability
185,000 miles you survived
Now it’s time to pass the torch to the battery with the super-power drive
3. Norm
Norm’s the instructor from Sears Driving School
Cruisin’ down the highway, showin’ kids all the rules
At every intersection he will say,
“Watch out for that stop sign comin’ this way!”
Norm will always keep his cool; he won’t go nuts
Even if he misses his break at Dunkin’ Donuts
Norm’s a real tough guy except when the parents yell in his face
But Norm knows that he’ll get the chance to show them all someday
5. Breakfast in Bed
Have you ever woken up next to some warm oatmeal?
Do you even have an idea how it must feel?
Have your kids ever made you breakfast in bed?
Did the idea even pass through their feeble little heads?
You work all day to clean the house just so they can mess it up again
Is it too much to ask for a little breakfast in bed? No way!
But those kids can’t be expected to read your mind, you guess
But it sure would be so nice to get a little rest...
7. Castle Zone
I have got you now
You may as well give up
I see you’ve exited the Castle Zone
Your king is alone
It’s my turn to go
You should have just stayed home
And avoided
Humiliation
9. Economics
Physiocrats and mercantilists
Will never know what I’m dealin’ with
They could never know the futility
Marginal Utility
Runnin’ from an Invisible Hand
The raw forces of Supply and Demand
I’m tired of being hassled by The Man
I think that I’ll just move to Japan
12. Eleanor
Eleanor sat at her window sill,
Thinking of Andy,
Part-time chef at Friendly’s®
She thinks he’s a real cool guy
But she’s not really sure,
She’s not really sure...
14. Mission: Discovery
Up into darkness they went with all the odds against them
In a rocket, they knew all could be lost in a moment
We thought it was funny
But these brave astro-monkeys
Made it home
As they landed on Earth, I knew everything
Would be okay |
