Welcome to the Times Of Change Inc Select-A-Pocalypse service. Please choose your significant event from the list below:
1) The universe is approximately 6000 years old and about to time-expire
2) It's the millennium and Jesus is coming back
3) Celestial alignment indicates we are entering the Age of Aquarius
4) We're just about due for another Great Extinction brought on by the arrival of an elliptically orbiting Nemesis companion star
5) Civilisation lies on the boundary between the Ages of Bureaucracy and Aftermath
If you do not have a touch-tone phone, please hold and you will be transferred to an operator.
Times are always different, and there will always be a coming apocalypse.
Rob |