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| [57881] by "Alla Telman" (211.216.169.71)
on Wed 12 Jul 2006 11:09:57
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My Wetsuit is too Small!</br>I used to teach an introductory river kayaking class at a local YMCA. It involved a classroom session and pool time. The lifeguard at the pool was so interested, that we invited him to join the activity in the pool. He learned very quickly and wanted to come on an instructional trip on the river. Of course, being the lifeguard at the Y, he had missed the classroom sessions which covered equipment, gear, clothing, theory, etc.So he came along on a trip and I provided an extra boat, and the required wetsuit (we're in the Chicago area). Once at the put-in, I told him to put on the wetsuit so in the event of a dump, he'd stay warm.Off he went and it took a very long time for him to reappear. When he finally did, I couldn't help but laugh at not only him but myself as well. I had forgotten to tell him to take off his jeans, t-shirt, sweater and jacket! He also asked me whether he really needed to wear that wet suit because he didn't feel very comfortable in it at all!We both had a good laugh and I learned as an instructor teaching novices, NEVER EVER TAKE ANYTHING FOR GRANTED!I still consider it a great learning experience for me!
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| [57887] by "Britney Speers" (204.126.186.18)
on Wed 12 Jul 2006 23:18:23
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Tube Top Rapids</br>A good friend of mine and his wife (both of whom shall remain nameless) were paddling in Minnesota's Boundary Waters Canoe area when they came upon a set of rapids. They scouted the rapids and decided they were challenging but navigable. They started out successfully steering through the rocks and then halfway through they passed a campsite occupied by a group of young boy scouts. As fate would have it they hit a rock broadside right in front of the campsite and tipped the canoe, sending themselves and their gear into the water. friend's wife managed to climb up on a flat rock while my friend floated downstream doing his best to collect the canoe and as much gear as possible. He was about 50 yards away when he turned to see where his wife was. To his surprise there she was standing on the rock waving at him - with her tube top at her waist and a grinning boy scout troop attentively watching from the shore!He yelled, "Pull your top up!" to his wife but she couldn't hear him over the sound of the rapids. He had no choice but to struggle upstream through the current until he could get close enough to inform her of the exhibition she was putting on. As he reached her and she got in the canoe, one of the boy scouts yelled out, "Are you going to try that again Mister?"He'd been married long enough to know better than to laugh at that moment but told us later he couldn't help thinking, "I wonder what kind of merit badge they'll get for that one!"
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| [57891] by "Ed (david) ufy" (204.126.186.18)
on Thu 13 Jul 2006 08:03:48
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Sarcastic ??</br>Well, aren't we just a ray of fucking sunshine? Not the brightest crayon in the box now, are we? Don't bother me. I'm living happily ever after. Do I look like a fucking people person? This isn't an office. It's Hell with fluorescent lighting. I pretend to work. They pretend to pay me. You! Off my planet !!Therapy is expensive, popping bubble wrap is cheap! You choose. Practice random acts of intelligence & senseless acts of self-control. I like cats too. Let's exchange recipes. Did the aliens forget to remove your anal probe? Errors have been made. Others will be blamed. Let me show you how the guards used to do it. And your cry-baby whiny-assed opinion would be...? I'm not crazy, I've just been in a very bad mood for 30 years. Sarcasm is just one more service we offer. Do they ever shut up on your planet? I'm just working here till a good fast-food job opens up. I'm trying to imagine you with a personality. A cubicle is just a padded cell without a door. Stress is when you wake up screaming & you realize you haven't fallen asleep yet.I can't remember if I'm the good twin or the evil one. How many times do I have to flush before you go away? I just want revenge. Is that so wrong? I work 40 hours a week to be this poor. Can I trade this job for what's behind door #2? Too many freaks, not enough circuses. Just smile and say "Yes, Mistress." Chaos, panic, and disorder - my work here is done. Earth is full. Go home. Is it time for your medication or mine? Aw, did I step on your poor little bitty ego? I plead contemporary insanity. How do I set a laser printer to stun? I'm not tense, just terribly, terribly alert. When I want your opinion, I'll give it to you.
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| [57911] by "Britneyf" (202.110.217.130)
on Thu 13 Jul 2006 21:07:57
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Best site look this:
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End good luck |
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| [57914] by "Andrei Lapionak" (211.105.239.94)
on Thu 13 Jul 2006 23:05:39
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The City</br>A businessman walks into a bank in San Francisco and asks for the loan officer. He says he is going to Europe on business for two weeks and needs to borrow $5,000. The bank officer says the bank will need some kind of security for such a loan. So the businessman hands over the keys to a Rolls Royce parked on the street in front of the bank. Everything checks out, and the bank agrees to accept the car as collateral for the loan. An employee drives the Rolls into the bank's underground garage and parks it there.Two weeks later, the businessman returns, repays the $5,000 and the interest, which comes to $15.41.The loan officer says, "We are very happy to have had your business, and this transaction has worked out very nicely, but we are a little puzzled.While you were away, we checked you out and found that you are a multimillionaire. What puzzles us is why would you bother to borrow $5,000?"The businessman replied, "Where else in San Francisco can I park my car for two weeks for $15 bucks?"
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| [57932] by "Maxx Okell" (219.240.12.173)
on Fri 14 Jul 2006 10:38:34
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William Shakespeare. Sonnet XCVII</br> </br> </br> </br> How like a winter hath my absence been</br> From thee, the pleasure of the fleeting year!</br> What freezings have I felt, what dark days seen!</br> What old December's bareness every where!</br> And yet this time removed was summer's time,</br> The teeming autumn, big with rich increase,</br> Bearing the wanton burden of the prime,</br> Like widow'd wombs after their lords' decease:</br> Yet this abundant issue seem'd to me</br> But hope of orphans and unfather'd fruit;</br> For summer and his pleasures wait on thee,</br> And, thou away, the very birds are mute;</br> Or, if they sing, 'tis with so dull a cheer</br> That leaves look pale, dreading the winter's near.</br> </br> </br>
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| [59722] by "Helga" (c-67-181-117-41.hsd1.ca.comcast.net)
on Sun 24 Sep 2006 18:39:28
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| [59866] by "Helga" (62.87.67.200)
on Sun 08 Oct 2006 00:22:28
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