| [rant] |
| [11844] by "Veavitdpoh" (136.204.212.83)
on Tue 14 May 2002 14:40:58
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The action was declared before, but it's never been driven home so thoroughly as it has in recent days. My Y is gone from me, not taken or stolen but by my own hand.
This past weekend, though we had both agreed we needed time apart, I received an e-mail from her... again. And it spoke of some things and other things, and there was tenderness and hope, and in every way it hurt. It cut me to the bone. She had sent it knowing full well that it was breaking our agreement to part ways for the time being, and after another such exchange that ended less than amicably...
Y... is a dangerous influence. Once, she was someone whom I called sister, though we are not related. She was a kindred spirit, someone who befriended me, who loved me for no reason - not because it was required, not because of familial duty or obligation, not because she was told to, not because she expected to gain by it - but for me. She cared for me purely for me. In this she saved my life, and gave me hope. These times I will always cherish, now and forever.
But in this time, when simply opening my inbox to see her name wiped the smile from my face and dropped me to my knees, I had to acknowledge certain truths. She hurts me. She changed from the person I loved to a bitter, vengeful one, to someone who was capable of taking the things that we'd held most dear and turning them against me in a fit of rage. She became a grasping, needy individual. I tried to help, failed. And in the end I had to accept that she was destroying me - not just once, but twice, after I'd accepted her back after a full nine months of her absence from my life. I'd hidden things from her, I'd changed who I was for her, I'd done things that I have vowed never again to do to a friend for both our sakes...
Though we had agreed to stay apart for the time, she e-mailed me again. And I took that step. I told her to cease. I changed my e-mail address. I made sure that there would be no way for her to touch me, to hurt me, ever again.
My Y... I loved her. I love her, perhaps. But the one I loved is no more. I hope the person she is now forgives me someday, but for now - this time, I have to live for myself. I have to help myself. And so it's the end of that chapter. Where the book goes from here? Your guess is as good as mine. |
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| Subterranean grumble |
| [11841] by "FrereKhan" (bowerbird.qut.edu.au)
on Tue 14 May 2002 03:48:00
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Where do our loyalties lie in this disposible world?
Careers used to be life. Now we change jobs at the drop of a coin. Education is no longer valued; certification is the new standard. No more patrons: artists, prostitue yourself for bread! Researchers, prostitute yourself for corporate sponsorship! Or else talk the talk.
Am I just a grumpy old man at the age of 23? Did things actually use to be better or is that just a lie created by the legacy of the hippie generation?
I'd be interested to hear points of view from people whose countries have not totally aped the American cultural experience (like AUS has). The US hippie / flower children / vietnam party is (for better or worse) a part of our past too. Even if it wasn't.
I'm just raging against the machine, here. Don't mind me.
And where the FooK is Nosferatu? |
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| Eurora... F.K... GZB... |
| [11760] by "andrea" (ppp-51-28.30-151.libero.it)
on Fri 10 May 2002 18:08:52
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...did you get e-mail? |
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| here's what I want to see |
| [11450] by "Proxy" (proxy3a.lmco.com)
on Fri 03 May 2002 12:10:46
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A formula where u plug in the frequency and power of the electromagnetic radiation you're sitting in, and it gives you the likelihood that in the next second the electromagnetic wave with your name on it gives you cancer that will develop before you turn 60, or causes you to give birth to deformed children. Then I can view the number, determine if the increase in utility I get is worth the increased risk. Otherwise I've got no rational basis to make decisions from at all. I hate no rational basis. Because I base all of my actions on whether people decades from now will call me stupid or not, and as it stands now, people in the future could EITHER say "gee, Proxy, you sure were stupid to waste time avoiding computers when those are the only thing you like", or "gee, Proxy, now thatyou're on death row because you euthanized your mutant vegetable son, even a moron like you can see it was stupid to have a television in your house." God Damn you, uppity future bastards! Why do I spend all my time trying to live up to your perfect retrospective gaze?! |
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| new product delivery method |
| [11412] by "Proxy" (proxy3a.lmco.com)
on Thu 02 May 2002 09:03:35
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here at _Dr. Proxy's Sphere of Interchange_ we are always looking for new ways to deliver our solutions. And here's our latest innovation:
rain
That's right, now we can deliver solutions through rain water! So the next time it's a little stormy outside your window, don't stay cooped up inside! Take a windshield wiper-reinforced drive! Take an umbrella-enhanced walk! Or just look up to the sky, open wide, and let our products into your mouth, pores, and anything else you've got! Mmmmmm, taste that skywater! It's a splash of successful engineering! No reverse osmosis here, folks--it's straight from God's Heaven to your personage, via our laboratories!
But don't try worry about saving it in buckets or reservoirs--we'll make more!!!
Dr. Proxy--his solution is so accessible, you can't escape! |
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| surprise |
| [11358] by "Anonymous" (pool-138-88-116-87.res.east.veri)
on Tue 30 Apr 2002 20:05:38
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surprisingly, none of the pokemon are sexy |
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| obsession |
| [11141] by "Veavitdpoh" (136.204.212.239)
on Fri 26 Apr 2002 10:20:14
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Platform: Game Boy Advance.
Concept: Super Mario Brothers.
But Mario knows drunken boxing. |
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| Miscellaneous ego boost #9 |
| [11130] by "Anonymous" (bowerbird.qut.edu.au)
on Fri 26 Apr 2002 04:56:18
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Oop won't post here either |
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| No Subject |
| [11082] by "Proxy Thing" (pool-138-88-113-127.res.east.ver)
on Wed 24 Apr 2002 22:15:10
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eeeecon o mee
brings products 2 u and meeeee!
i like meta products like econotextbooks because they are products about products thus they prevail |
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| Questions on YOU |
| [11070] by "andrea" (ppp-83-28.30-151.libero.it)
on Wed 24 Apr 2002 16:08:46
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Why is Veavidtpoh obsessed with Ninjas?
Why is Eurora obsessed with metaphores?
Why is Proxy obsessed with Economy?
Why is Tobot obsessed with Pi?
Why is Frerekhan obsessed with riddles?
Why is Robert obsessed with nothing?
Why am I obsessed with all the aforementioned things, plus Pi, dithering to 2 colors, and Untitled.Gif? |
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